Are We Ghosting Ourselves?

Re-RELEASE from December 28, 2018, 12:04 PM

ARE WE “GHOSTING” OURSELVES??

Have we for so long found or looked for our “identity” based on what roles we’ve played in the lives of our loved ones, family and friends??  Some of these could be…wife, girlfriend, lover, cook, housekeeper, mother, employer, boss, sister, daughter, friend, minister, pastor, teacher, author, counselor, mentor, speaker, volunteer,…and the list goes on!  How can I truly come to a clear “DEFINING” of who I am by ONLY the “FUNCTION” I play in the lives of SO many of the people that are in my sphere of influence? I think this is one of the main reasons in MIDLIFE, when we start to experience a “LOSS”…the loss of a particular function or loss of a person, that we are then smacked upside our newly found grey head, with a truth. The truth that we can no longer get our affirmation or identity from the “FUNCTION” that we used to operate in, as our  “FUNCTION” has ceased to exist!

SO we find we are in a befuddled mess of emotions and thoughts and feelings…all coming back to the age old questions:  WHO AM I?  WHY AM I HERE?  WHAT IS MY ETERNAL GOD-GIVEN PURPOSE? Some may even start to call it a “Mid Life Crisis”. We tend to even view ourselves in a negative light, and start to feel the loss of our value.

This time in our lives may cause us start moving into the stage of what I will define as DISENGAGING… to go inward…to practice the pause… to SEEK AFTER… the ANSWERS to those “Who, What, and Why” questions! We have a strong urge to “take a timeout” to redefine who we are or where we need to be.

We move into a “Mid Life Quest for Identity”.  This quest might even endure into the ages of 50-60 years old, as circumstances continue to change, and desires continue to resurface, or maybe even be discarded as no longer relevant to us.  There is a theory in modern day psychology called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs.  Now before you start to persecute me or set me straight on the Bible versus the science of psychology, I totally do not govern my life by man-made psychology, however it is interesting theory. We women feel the pressure of meeting our eternal needs of safety, sustainability, and status all on our own.  Especially if you have always been a very independent woman with no need to be taken care of…it’s hard to let go of that need. We have a “restless craving” to realize our potential.  It’s all about RE-DISCOVERY of our amazing “greatness.”  The dilemma lies in the fact no one particular person can really define what that greatness or success looks like for us, as it is very individual for each person.  Some say that this search for greatness, or our grand purpose has no real definitive goal or destination.  Therein lies what some call the “CHALLENGE”….that in our search of REDEFINING who we are at this stage in life, there is ambiguity.  SO not everyone, and sometimes not even we ourselves will understand where we are at on this journey of a “Spiritual Transformation”….on this journey called…life!

For me personally, I go to my Bible, pray and allow myself to read who GOD says I am, as HE is my creator, and what HIS purpose is for me.  But I think because of EGO or SELF, we sometimes get distracted and taken off course of what God-pronounced long ago as our individual destiny…and need a time to REFOCUS on HIS PLAN and allow HIM to get us back in our own LANE of where it is we now fit. I am personally listening to the Holy Spirit that will lead and guide and order my next step in my journey. If I choose to sign up for a “one size fits all” class, I can get off my God-designed path.

I personally have seen so many try and “copy-cat” or “duplicate” what others are doing, in the same way they are doing it…and they LOSE their own individual God-given design and purpose as GOD’s specific unique creation – and as one who has your own DNA, unlike anyone else! I always say that we cannot all fit into one tiny self-help box. I think that we women need to determine who can really help us on our journey based on our own individuality.

In trying to FIT IN to the NORM into society, careers and ministry purposes or callings, have we LOST our TRUE SELF??  Have we just said YES to all the other people’s demands of us, and become what OTHER’s have expected us to be?  Have we really just been “people pleaser’s” all our lives, serving the needs of others—just so we can get the proverbial pat on the back and the affirmation of others that build up our ego?  There are good things that come of serving, but in doing this I want to remind us all to NOT LOSE our AUTHENTIC GOD-GIVEN SELF!

In essence,  I believe we have “GHOSTED”our true self!  By doing this, we start doing things from a place of other’s expectations, pressures, demands and out of a sense of obligation, rather than it being our SOUL’S CORE PURPOSE and HEARTFELT PASSION!!!  We start to get uneasy, aggravated, unhappy, tired, burnt out, and just become…well, BLAH!! LIFE BLOBS with NO JOY!

I want to encourage ALL of us…to seek and go after the DEFINITION of WHO you are, FOR REAL!  We need an ENCOUNTER with the DEEP REALITY of who we are as individuals!  Stop trying to imitate a “fake ideal” and truly DISCOVER….YOU! Be open to experiment with trying new things, going new places and meeting new people….strap yourself in…it’s about to get crazy!

Most important I encourage you to pick up that Bible, dust it off, look within it’s contents, and I guarantee you will find ALL, not some, but ALL the answers to who YOU are, why you were created, and what God’s eternal purpose is for you.

Let’s go on this JOURNEY TOGETHER…stay tuned.