Dead Woman Walking

January 15, 2019, 11:26 AM

DEAD WOMAN WALKING…..Linda….COME FORTH!!

WHY is knowing what you want to do and are passionate about so hard to nail down?  When you used to know without a shadow of a doubt…it now comes into question?  Do I want to mentor or coach women?  Do I want to write a book?  Write a Blog?  Do I want to get a 9-5 job and live  what some call “a normal life”?  Do I want travel and do a Mid Life Women You Tube Channel/VLOG about it?  What is it that really sets my heart on fire with zeal and passion?    

OR…is that what this JOURNEY is all about…to rediscover who I am?  Or is to UNCOVER  and DIG UP the REAL and TRUE me that over time LIFE and all it’s dirt has buried?? Is it to go deeper into HIS TRUTH to really allow the Lord’s identity to define me?

A quote by Emily McDowell:  “Finding yourself is not really how it works.  You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket.  You are also NOT LOST.  Your TRUE SELF is right there, BURIED under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became YOUR BELIEFS about who you are.  Finding yourself is actually a RETURNING TO YOURSELF.  An UNLEARNING, an EXCAVATION, a REMEMBERING who you are BEFORE the WORLD got it’s hands on you”

So it seems that under all the horrific ….and sometimes beautiful experiences that life takes us through – we have been BURIED!! Buried under the hurts and anguish of …the pain of divorce, loss of a loved one, loss of my size 3, 5’9” body, loss of my thriving jet-setting career, loss of a child, loss of your mom-purpose due to your nest is now empty, loss of your sexy-ness, loss of a girlfriend you thought you could trust, loss of one or both parents and now you really feel…ALONE and you really feel your “mortality” setting in. I am wanting this dead woman walking – to COME ALIVE again!  I want to have a real HUNGER for LIFE again!  I want to seek after new experiences and go places I’ve never gone before, while really appreciating the little moments that are everyday miracles happening to me right now! 

So this year…and the remaining years to come, I am CHALLENGING MYSELF to LIVE LIFE to the FULLEST!!  To coin the old cliché’…to THRIVE and not just SURVIVE!! 

I want to go on a really long road trip with a girlfriend I can trust, explore spiritual places right here in my own country, listen to my favorite music really loud while driving and sing along out of key at the top of my lungs, stop a lot at road side diner’s, drive-in’s and dives, stop to explore the local culture in new places, admire the view from the Grand Canyon, visit local coffee shops and listen to local bands, take pictures of mountains and amazing sunsets, walk barefoot, do something really brave, run on the beach through the water on the California Coast, chase the sun, spend hours just sitting in silence in the Red Wood forest…soaking it all in, feel the wind in my hair, be kinder and compassionate to myself, sleep under the stars in the Mojave…desert-ok maybe in a camper, buy tacky souvenirs, observe old cowboys in Montana, perfect my fly fishing skills, persuade an old cowgirl to let me buy her worn-in distressed leather boots, pray for people along the journey, make new friends, rent a convertible and drive up the California Coast on PCH, …..and most important…I want to LOVE WELL, and KNOW HIM, my JESUS!!

So,…as I continue in this “Winter Season” of mid-life, to explore the possibilities of living a LIFE on PURPOSE…of PURSUING a LIFE OF PASSION – I get excited.  I get excited that I am not going to stay STUCK…that I will continue to grow spiritually, emotionally and become healthy again.  That I will wake up EVERYDAY and CHOOSE JOY and CHOOSE and PRACTICE… GRATITUDE!! 

A pursuit to going deeper in Christ…and telling that old woman…

Linda….COME FORTH!!!